Northwest Native: June 2017

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Why I Quit Blogging

I had hoped that one day I would feel comfortable sharing the reason behind why I abruptly dropped off the face of the blogging earth.

Summed up in one word (& gif), that reason is...


via GIPHY
And no, I don't mean I quit blogging because of my husband. As many of you may know, my dad passed away quite suddenly in March of 2016. Michael and I already had baby fever, but were planning on waiting for another year or more to start trying. However, there's nothing like losing someone important to you to make you realize how short life is.
I had an OBGYN appointment coming up anyway (that I actually set up to get a new prescription for birth control), and I decided to forego the prescription and just tell them we were going to start trying. I had a 45-ish day cycle, and the next cycle was up to day 60 with nothing, so I called my OB. She ordered bloodwork, and my testosterone levels came back high, indicating that I had PCOS.
I won't go into full detail about PCOS, but basically, if you have it, you don't ovulate (you may ovulate sporadically, but not monthly like clockwork). It is often characterized by being overweight and having excess body hair (and can sometimes be helped by losing weight), but obviously, that's not the case for everyone (so if you have messed up cycles but no outward symptoms, asking to get tested can't hurt!).
I started taking fertility drugs to try and spur ovulation. Clomid was a dud (and my normal cycles were 35 days, plus add in extra days taking Provera to force my cycle to restart) so three cycles of that took about four months.
It was really hard for me to read blogs about new babies, pregnancy updates, or, the worst of all, pregnancy announcements. I actually unfollowed a few people on Instagram after their pregnancy announcements/updates during my lowest point. Even bloggers talking about how they don't want kids and that's okay was hard (I 100% agree with this sentiment, but it just reminded me that I did want it and it wasn't happening). Eventually, it was easier to cut back on my blog reading.
But writing was also hard. This was the most present thing on my mind at all times, but I couldn't blog about it. (To be fair, I could've, but I've always wanted my pregnancy announcement to be a surprise, so I was holding out hope for that.) Everything else I could blog about started to feel trivial and pointless.
And now, after that depressing look into a tough year of my life, I can tell you that after Clomid didn't work for me, I tried Letrozole and started tracking my basal body temperature (the temp right when you wake up each morning) and two cycles later, I got my positive test on April 21st!
You may have already seen this on Instagram, but here it is! I'm due December 30th, so at the time that this post goes live, I'll be 13 weeks + 4 days.
I also can't guarantee that I'll come back to blogging. I thought a flip would switch and I'd be excited to come back, but you really realize how much work blogging is after you quit cold turkey for a few months. I have so much more free time! Plus, I don't want to be all pregnancy updates/eventually mommy blog status.

Also, feel free to contact me if you have any questions! I reached out to Alexandra from My Urban Family after my diagnosis and it was helpful to talk to someone going through it.