Northwest Native: Blowing off some steam.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Blowing off some steam.

I didn't have a post idea for today, but then I was thinking about some things that have been on my mind lately. Things that irritate me. So basically this is pet peeves part two. If you enjoy happy sunshine-y blog posts, maybe go look at my wedding posts or go elsewhere because I'm about to get ranty.

THIS. This irritates me beyond belief. I found this gem (not) on Facebook so I don't have a source...but really?! I am well aware that a lot of people are against getting married young. And I'm well aware that a lot of people get married young and love it. Why can't everyone just have their own opinion and not attack other people? This isn't even politics or religion or something that should get people this fired up. Also, why throw around the word 'slut'? I know some people say it as a joke and there's the whole 'take back the word' movement...but this is clearly malicious. Honestly, marriage is an extremely personal choice. Get married when you're eighteen, get married when you're seventy, or never get married...guess what...I don't care. And I support anyone's decision. UGH.

Another thing that bugs me is when women who don't want or never have children face scrutiny. Seriously, we're not desperately trying to repopulate the world. It's fine if people don't have children. There was a time when I said I never wanted to have children. Now I do, but if I didn't want children and people were constantly questioning me or telling me, "You'll change your mind" or criticizing me, I think I would lose my mind. I actually wrote a post about our plan for future babies, and a few comments said things about not needing children to be fulfilled. I don't think anyone needs children to be fulfilled. Maybe it is necessary for some people because they have crazy strong maternal instincts, but I don't think it always is. And I personally don't want to have kids for fulfillment, I just want to have kids, period.

All this smack talk about PNW residents not knowing how to drive is so stupid. I was on Facebook on Monday and came across a news article about all the crashes because of the snow and ice. The comments were all, "I'm from Maine and we can drive in snow," and "I'm from Michigan and we can drive in snow," and on and on and bashing Portlanders thrown in. Well excuse me for living in a region where snow is generally not an issue. I assume if you live somewhere where there's snow every single winter without fail in large quantities, there are procedures in place. And presumably a budget for those procedures. You wanna know how many times it snowed last year? Zero. Not a single time. But sure let's have a budget for this and clear all the highways and put down gravel and salt and deicer and everyone have tire chains in your garage etc etc. NO. It doesn't make sense. It's true, some of those people probably didn't have the right vehicles or didn't have experience driving in those conditions, and therefore shouldn't have driven. Even if we had a four wheel drive vehicle I wouldn't have driven. (Also it was straight up ice where we lived, not snow on the roads...watch this video for proof.) Anyway, I happily worked from home on the couch in pajamas and dirty hair and just watched Gossip Girl and worked simultaneously and it was awesome. Snow days rule.

We got a rock chip in our windshield on New Year's Day. We've had the car less than a month. Enough said.

Every single law enforcement officer/investigator/prosecutor in Making a Murderer. As I'm writing this, we're on episode seven (no spoilers, please!). So maybe at the end there's some huge revelation and he really did do it and that makes me a jerk. But for now, the Manitowoc County Sheriff's Department (at least at that time) is a bunch of jerks (except maybe a stronger word).

Okay, I'm done now. :)

I'm linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud Thursday!

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28 comments:

  1. Sometimes you just need to get these things off your chest! Driving in ice is the worse...I don't think anyone can prepare for that or be a "good driver."

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  2. Whoa! Ha you are in a rant. But just remember that there are two sides to every coin. While that fb message wasn't written in the nicest way, it can be true. Statistics support that people married at an earlier age are much more likely to get a divorce and much of that is tied to lack of self fulfillment. But a few decades ago, it was weird to not be married by 21 and people were really happy and self-fulfilled in their 30+ year marriages. As attitudes and focus have shifted over time, many people delay marriage. But I really think this applies differently to each couple. The timing of the marriage is really irrelevant to me, it's the strength that matters. Don't let some random comment upset you. Also, please don't be offended by the snow comment because I'm guilty of saying that myself sometimes. I learned how to drive when I lived in New England and saying it's going to snow there is like saying the sun is going to rise. There are no snow days bc it snows everyday. I've also lived in the South where 2 inches of snow (not ice) closed the city down for 3 days even though it had long melted. I'm sure the accidents were a combination of the city not having sand/salt to put down and people driving who have never driven in the snow before. I wish people were more concerned about the current welfare of everyone involved in the accidents, instead of focusing on placing blame. And if your still irritated after all of this, well just remember. It's almost the weekend :)
    http://makingrestorations.blogspot.com

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  3. Hehehe, I like the feisty side!

    I felt under fire when I first got married (at 22) because it seemed like the only things that came across my newsfeed were articles and pictures like the one you posted, only unedited. I never felt angry toward people NOT married... I don't care what other people do. But it sucks to be the one under attack (whether it's because you're married and monogamous or single and dating). I have so many opinions on what makes a good, strong marriage, but I also know that's what (currently) works for Kyle and me. It doesn't always work for everyone. And I know that I got married at the right time but it's because I found the right boy and I went to school and I figure out who I wanted to be and blah blah blah. Had I not met Kyle, I'm 90% sure I wouldn't be married right now. And that's ok.

    Also, I used the words in high school because I was a little fool, but my stomach turns when I hear women refer to other women as slut, b*tch, whore... even (no, ESPECIALLY) in a joking manner.

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  4. really random rant: the war over the Cold Weather. if someone says it's cold outside, like on FB, immediately there are comments like, "COLD? Come to my state and THEN you'll know cold." What in the sam hill does it matter, lol? it's not a competition, yet i hear this every year.

    and yes, it's no one's business when and if they marry and when and if they have kids. the naysayers don't pay my bills, so their opinion matters none to me :)

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  5. Haha, all of these are so funny. People just like to judge or comment about everything. I feel like I have so many pet peeves now. People were giving me flack for how early I had my Xmas stuff up! I'm like get used to it because it'll be earlier next year - lol!!!

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  6. I saw this post last week or during my holiday break and seriously...and it really got to me, maybe because I was just turned 22 a few months prior or the fact that we had been planning to get married since I was 21, but why is it so wrong that I choose to get married so young? I'm happy in the fact that I'll have someone that I get to live with for the rest of my life. I want forever to start now, not when I'm 30

    liz @ sundays with sophie

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    1. I should also add, that sounded very ranty. Sorry. A comment that became ranty on a rant post haha. Also, all of my family got married before me and they're still married, that's 65 year of marriage for one of my family members. With the exception of my grandma, there have been no divorces in my family.

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  7. I am so with you on all of these issues. It is no ones damn business when someone does or doesn't get married, how long they were engaged for whether or not they have had sex before marriage or if someone wants to have kids!!! People just need to keep to themselves!!!!

    And the snow thing. I am from Pittsburgh and I have driven in snow plenty of times. But when you live in the south (or apparently Portland) and you get blasted with snow and ice and there aren't salt trucks and proper ways to remove the ice from the roads...NO ONE CAN DRIVE. Doesn't matter where you are from, ice is ice.

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  8. I think everyone & their momma is watching that show - I need to jump on it - though I've heard how it all works because they talk about it on the radio every day... oh well.

    I got married at 23... everyone thought that was so young then. I think its just natural - I see people getting married when I do their pictures & they are in their early 20's & I think, "Oh gosh, you're so young" forgetting that was my age too :) haha

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  9. Girl, I feel you on the married/kids thing. Why can't everyone just keep their opinions to themselves!?! Sometimes I hate Facebook because of comments like that. And I still haven't watched Making a Murderer. I feel so left out, I guess I need to binge watch this weekend!

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  10. Totally get it my friend and since you wrote this, don't you feel a lil bit better? People are so more judgmental and ride than they used to be. Know you're the smarter one!!!! ;-)

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  11. I'll never understand people's need to criticize other people's life choices. If you don't like it, then... uhm... don't do it? No one is forcing anyone to get married at 21, and if someone wants to, then they should be able to do it without getting an earful. And I live in a place that gets tonnes of snow every year, and people -still- get into accidents CONSTANTLY. Ice sucks no matter where you live.

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  12. I hate the marriage criticism too-we were super young when we got married (20), but it worked for us. If others want to get married at 30 or beyond, I don't care! Your life, your choices. lol..

    YES to the people constantly criticizing about not being able to drive in the ice/snow. We would hear it all the time when we lived in Texas! Of course we didn't have amazing snow plows like Chicago has because we didn't need them. I will say it has been interesting to watch a city be so efficient about getting rid of ice and snow! The streets are cleared so quickly here.

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  13. Isn't it funny how everyone else on earth seems to know better than you when you should be making major life changes like marriage and children? I really don't get it how people think they know it all because, HI, I know I know close to nothing, lol. Keep on doing you, girl!

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  14. I agree with so many of these things. They bother me too!!

    And I am on episode 5 of Making a Murderer and my blood boils over the Sheriff's Office. Ugh. I don't want spoilers either.

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  15. I do not like when people judge each other. Let everyone live and be loving and kind. We all have our own ideas about life and love and should live them free of others judgements!!

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  16. Sometimes you just need to rant & that's okay! I really could care less what age people decide to get married also. I'll be 28 when we get married which actually feels kind of old but I'm thankful that nobody has really made any comments about it. However, I have a feeling that the kids question will definitely be coming up shortly after! As for the snow, I don't think anyone knows how to drive in the snow, seriously. We get snow/ice pretty often & people are still idiots! And even when they forecast it, the city still doesn't even prepare sometimes.

    We are on episode 9 right now! I've been trying to avoid the spoilers online but I need to know what really happened!

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  17. Sometimes, I need to read a post like this...because we all have times we need to rant, but we all don't say it. Bravo to you, Mattie!
    The kids vs. no kids comments. Gahhhhhhhd. I wrote a post about that a while ago. I'm 42. I have no biological children. Let's just say I've had so many nosy, inappropriate comments given to me, I should've kept a journal just on that topic.

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  18. Okay, that irks me pretty bad too. It's a personal decision to get married, whether that be at 21 or 41. Same with having kids, good for you if you're ready at 21, and good for you if you're ready at 41. For real, if I had gotten married at 21...um, I would probably be divorced twice by now haha. (I can think of two boyfriends I had at that age lol.) Some people are ready to be married young, and that's cool, but I definitely was not. Some people need to "slut" around a bit.(Not saying I did, but not saying I didn't lol.) And same for kids. Some people need more time. To grow. I know I do. I haven't gotten any pressure on that topic just yet, but I do see sometimes a weird look when I say that 30 is the magic number for us. Some people think that's "old." I guess my opinion is EVERYONES DIFFERENT. Stupid Facebook things lol. I bet the person who made that is a slut. (now I'm peeved lol.)

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    1. OH and the snow. That would bother me too. I think it's just people trying to sound like they're better like, "OMG they can't even drive in the snow!!!" I basically took drivers ed in the snow, and spent 23 years in winter, and I have a hard time. It's never, ever easy. I bet you can drive well in the rain!!! (It rains there a lot right lol?? or am I thinking of somewhere else..)

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  19. So agree with this! I got married this summer when I was 26 (27 now). I had two different people ask me if this was my first marriage and asking why I waited until I was that old. Others telling me that we were moving too fast and I would regret a 6 month engagement. So frustrating! I just wanted to tell people to mind their own business!

    Also, I'm from Kansas and we drive in snow frequently on heavily treated roads and people still run off the roads and get in wrecks. It happens all over!

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  20. Only idiots take "we can communicate more easily with more people" to mean "there are no repercussions of me expressing my opinion in insulting and juvenile ways to everyone, for everything". Although, clearly they're out there.
    My approach is pretty much: show me the validated scientific research that proves your claim, or keep your opinions to yourself. Get married whenever you want, for whatever reasons you want, as often as you want, to whomever you want. The only person it's affecting is you (and your spouse), so why should I feel justified in voicing any opinion about it??

    Also, YES to the drivers. Maybe dare those people to give you that apparently famous statistic of any state having 0 incidents in winter weather that nobody could ever produce. Or just pity them, for having SUCH low self-esteem that they have to feel superior to you because they can drive in snow and ice. Really? Ok, little special cupcake, here's a gold star and a pat on the head.

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  21. I hate when people make some sort of judgment about me for not having kids yet. We've been married for five years and I'm almost 30, but so what. It's my life, and if I want to travel more, I'm going to travel more dang it! I don't judge them for having kids already. That sucks about your rock chip! There's nothing worse than the first chip or scratch on your brand new car!

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  22. Hahahaha this rant post was hilarious!! I agree with you on all these points. Who says we have any say on other people's life choices?? Keep your opinions to yourself guys! Sheesh. Oh and Making a Murderer was crazy! I finished it in two days. I was so shocked at the whole thing. Each little revelation of outrageously obvious evidence that the cops planted stuff is just crazy. The part with the nephew is so weird too! I don't know what to make of his story. So crazy.

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  23. Sometimes we all just need to rant. People can be idiots about ANYTHING. And I'm an attorney. I'm really looking forward to watching that show. I don't do criminal law, but in law school, I usually leaned towards representing the defendant because the bar of evidence is so high as a prosecutor. We're watching the Man in the High Castle right now.

    Tif
    www.brightonabudget.com

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  24. 1. Making a Murderer- DUDE!!!! The prosecuting DA in the murder case? Is now a PUBLIC DEFENDER in the town I live in. I am not joking. Seriously, I keep telling people if you get arrested here, just go to jail and save your money because he clearly won't help you.

    2. I hate weddings. I KNOW. It's a terrible thing to say and people always get super uncomfortable but angry when I say it. BUT! I say it because so many just end up divorced. I don't care what age you get married, none of us know what it's like to be married until you're there. I swear, the first 10 years are the worst. THE WORST. I mean, super fun and great times, too- but it's SO HARD to learn to give up things, compromise when you really don't want to, and love the person. You don't love them like you did when you get married, it changes to something different and I think it freaks people out and that's why they give up.

    3. Babies. I'm pro baby, but I'm also pro-no baby. Truly. I think if someone knows they don't want them- good for them! Seriously- it's better to know that then have them and think, THIS SUCKS. Secondly, I am such an advocate for waiting a year. At least. Get to know your partner in a different way. Nobody is ever "ready" for a baby, but having that year to morph into a functioning pair and have some last hurrah's is everything.

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  25. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm almost 39 and have never been married and have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half and people are always wondering if we'll be getting married. In my experience, people have been really kind about it, but I used to get a lot of crap and I'm glad I am not anymore.

    All I'm going to say about Making a Murderer is that the filmmakers had an agenda and only presented one side. It's easy to get caught up in the wave of anger, but you HAVE to remember you DO NOT know the whole story because they kept a lot of things out.

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